[APRIL FOOLS] Link vs Mario (Legend of Zelda vs Mario)


Link, the Hero of Hyrule


Mario, the Mushroom Kingdom’s portly plumber


Nintendo. No introduction is needed, this gaming giant has produced some of the most iconic franchises in gaming history. But what would happen if two of these industry icons clashed in a duel to the death?


Background

Link


Gee, it sure was boring around Hyrule. While it was a peace that all true warriors strive for, Link would soon learn what Ganon was up too. Word came that Ganon and his minions had seized the Island of Koridai! As it was written that only Link could defeat Ganon, he departed with only his sword and was off on a new quest to conquer the Faces of Evil.

Mario


It was a day like any other. Mario and his brother Luigi had been invited over by the Princess for a picnic, hoping for lots of spaghetti. Unfortunately, it was one of those days, and King Bowser had left the two a letter. He had informed the pesky plumbers that he and the Koopalings had taken over the Mushroom Kingdom and that Princess Toadstool was a permanent guest at one of his 7 Koopa Hotels! It was up to them to find the princess and save the Kingdom from becoming Bowser's personal resort.


Abilities

Link

Crouching


Link crouches and is able to duck walk under projectiles. Cool, huh?

Resistances


Mario

Jumping


Mario jumps

4th Wall Awareness


Mario and Luigi reference the player and the game's instruction book, and Mario has talked to the player on his own. The two later reference the player again alongside the Princess.

Resistances

  • Jackshit lmao

Great! Let's grab our stuff

Link

Smart Sword and Shield


Link's regular equipment that was brought with him on his excursion to Koridai. The sword is of course used for attack and the shield can deflect incoming attacks at no harm to Link. The sword can't hurt beings friendly to Link, and in fact gets them to talk if you stab them. This isn't even a game mechanic and is referenced in the manual.

Power Sword


Given to Link by Anutu after correctly guessing his crab was a Gohma. It's stronger than his regular sword, but it also fires beams when swung and while he's at full health.

Fire Sword


After freeing Kulvan, he thanked Link by upgrading the Power Sword. This weapon is mostly identical, but it no longer requires Link to be at max health to fire its beams

Reflection Shield


An upgrade to the normal shield. While it doesn't work on all projectiles, it can reflect some magic and curses with twice the curse

Magic Pouch


A magical bag that Link is able to store all of his tools items in. Remember, it can only be accessed when crouching.

Lamp Oil


Fuel for the lantern. The lantern itself burns for different lengths of time depending on its level. The Lantern of Vision lets Link see invisible enemies

Rope


Used to latch onto ledges from below and climb up them.

Bombs


YOU WANT IT? IT'S YOURS, MY FRIEND, AS LONG AS YOU HAVE ENO- oh sorry don't know what came over me there. Anyways, bombs are used to destroy tougher enemies and boulders. They explode on contact, cannot harm Link and are also useful for bombing some Dodongos.

Snowballs


Seemingly regular snowballs, however they're used to kill fire based enemies like Fire Dairas.


Firestone


Fire projectiles. Shoots three fireballs at once and like snowballs, are used to kill ice enemies.

Glove of Power


This item increases Links strength, allowing him to defeat stronger enemies and smash boulders without the use of his bombs, however it costs 10 Rubies to use per swing.

Canteen


Link carries a canteen that can hold Water of Life, which will either revive him when defeated or drink manually to restore all hearts.

Bell


The bell can be rung to freeze all airborne enemies for 8 seconds at the cost of 5 Rubies

Winged Helmet


Item that lets Link jump higher at the cost of 5 Rubies

Book of Koridai


The sacred relic of the island, it lets Link defeat Ganon by imprisoning him in the pit, where it burns.

Mario

Super Mushroom


Transforms Mario into Super Mario, letting him take an extra hit of damage.

Fire Flower


Let’s Mario become Fire Mario, letting him shoot Fireballs. Being hit will revert him to Super Mario

Star Man


As expected, lets Mario become invincible for a time

Toad Mushroom

(yes, the sprite was reused)


Takes the place of regular 1-Up mushrooms and grants Mario extra lives

Light


Mario takes a light off a defeated Koopa to see in the darkness of cave depths


Bowser's Ghost Cologne


Found in Ludwig's hotel, it prevents magic doors from disappearing


Hammer


It's a hammer

Feats

Link

Overall

a couple of cartoon characters are posing for a picture


  • Conquered Koridai's Faces of Evil
  • Defeats Gleeok, Goronu, Harlequin, Militron, Glutko, Lupay and Ganon
  • Saved Zelda

Strength



Speed



Durability


  • Can survive next to his own bombs without harm
  • Can physically survive the various attacks from enemies in game

Mario

Overall


  • Cleared every Koopa Hotel and Bowser's Castle

  • Defeated all 7 Koopalings and Bowser

  • Saved Princess Toadstool


Strength



Speed



Durability



Scaling

Link

Zelda


Princess of Hyrule and main character of Wand of Gamelon. The two fight many of the same enemies and have both have came out on top against Ganon. The two should otherwise be comparable and there's no reason one should greatly exceed the other in stats.

Goronu


Bosses ain't got shit for feats lmao

Mario

The Koopalings

they don't have cdi art :(


Bowser's children and minions who control the various Koopa Hotels. Mario defeats all of them throughout his journey



Princess Toadstool


The Princess of the Mushroom kingdom. Given she's kidnapped and needs to be rescued by the Mario brothers, Mario should be her superior


Bowser



King of the Koopas and the last foe that Mario faces in his adventure


Weaknesses

Link


Link has a large pouch of equipment, but ultimately they are exhaustible if a fight were to drag on for long enough. He also can only carry a single canteen for a revival. He also got stuck in a mirror at one point, for some reason.

Mario


Mario's power ups are his main source of attack, but Super Mario and Fire Flower can both be lost with enough damage. All of his powerups are also random and need to be found first, he does not have all of them on hand at any given point.

Q&A

Hotel sustaining feats


So a handful of hotels are destroyed after you defeat their respective Koopa controlling it. Sustaining them is debatable as a feat, but very difficult to quantify. It's shown even in the first Hotel that something something Doctor Who reference larger on the inside, containing numerous floors despite the outside, being a regular tree normally. Very few of the hotels visibly contain the number of floors that they have in the levels on the outside either. 

Glutko fucking dies


So essentially, one of the bosses is killed by throwing a bomb down his throat and his ass just goes poof and isn't there anymore. It's probably just enemies vanishing as per how everything in the game dies (even if you kill them with, say, a sword). Calc gets silly numbers if you assume it vaporizes him otherwise, but it isn't very reliable to say that's what happens and won't be factored in.

Ganon's stuff


The argument has been posited that the Prince of Darkness warped Koridai into what it is now, but the ending seems to imply more so that peace was brought to the island, quoting that "Koridai is returning to harmony". It would also likely fall under simple reality warping which shouldn't be AP applicable. His only other feats are freezing over a fountain offscreen and its directly said that normal attacks against him are fruitless anyways because of his power, requiring the Book of Koridai or Wand of Gamelon to defeat.

Verdict

Stats


So, strength. Mario can harm Lemmy, a Koopaling able to briefly stand his ground against and survive winds that are able to blow away his hotel, while being closer to the source of the winds. This can net up to around 1.6 Tons TNT, possibly higher as the calc doesn't account for any metal, concrete, etc. that may be present in the hotel. Link, unfortunately, can't stack up. His bombs are able to destroy boulders at 66 kilograms TNT (there's no debris left, so highest end is likely fine), a pretty hefty near 22 times gap. Now, Link's Power Glove is able to destroy boulders that can withstand up to ten bombs. These bombs are thrown individually and don't all explode at once, but for the sake of it, lets say it's a 10x multiplier and get these strikes to about 660 kg (0.73 tons) TNT total. Better, and only about half of what Mario gets to boot, but of course this is being generous and the actual power glove value isn't likely to be that high. It should be noted that this only applies to strength, and not durability. Even given Water of Life resurrecting Link, Mario only needs to hit him about twice to actually win. As we'll discuss in a moment, Link isn't gonna be able to keep up these hits given his ruby supply.

Surprisingly, speed is pretty similar in terms of numbers. Both have or scale to feats of reacting to lightning magic. Neither can be confirmed as genuine lightning, but it would even out with equal leeway. Without, their next best speed feats would be enemies in Zelda's Adventure having comparable speeds to soundwaves with absolutely nothing else noteworthy for either. This isn't too much of a death sentence however, even the worst electricity speeds can get supersonic speeds anyways. So speed should be in the same ballpark no matter how it's sliced.

Arsenal


Link is probably unsurprisingly the victor in terms of arsenal. Mario only has one projectile, the Fireballs, whereas Link's equivalent shoots out three at once, as well as bombs and snowballs for more things to throw. Mario's Fire Flower can't run out unless he's damaged and loses it though, so that's a point at least. Link would also have a minor advantage in mobility, given his ropes let him climb to higher locations, given both can jump about as high as each other.

The Bell is also another tool in his kit, and it freezes flying targets. Whoops, get what happens to be Mario's main iconic method of attack! Does the bell work on normal, jumping enemies? No idea, no playthrough uses it normally and I don't feel like emulating the game. But screw it, it'd be funnier if it did so I'm saying it can. It would work, but Link is not going to be doing much damage given the AP gap. The Power Gloves use 10 Rubies per swing, and he can only carry 999 at best, so 99 hits total. A good number to be sure, but much of Link's arsenal relies on his ruby supply, requiring him to come back a little, mmmmmmm, richer if he runs out. Mario's Fire Flower does not have this restriction, and lasts as long as he doesn't lose it from damage, though infinite projectiles is the same for Link's best sword. Link's reflection shield can help, but it doesn't reflect all attacks (it can't reflect Ganon's magic, for instance), so Mario can just sit and fireball spam until Link runs out of normal equipment.

That being said, both do have some stronger tools, being the Starman and Book of Koridai. The former makes Mario invincible for a time and the latter can seal away Mario. Does the book work on anyone who isn't Ganon? Still no idea, so we're saying it can. The Starman does of course make Mario invulnerable to anything else in Link's kit if he finds one, and even without jumping or Fire Flowers, Mario can just beat Link to death with the hammer. And here you were, thinking that super short description was just an attempt at being funny. Anyways, both Starman and the Book of Koridai are effectively instant win tools if used since they can nullify a lot of what the other can do.

Tertiary Factors


I mean it's literally just both fight a ton of various enemies and monsters and intellect is probably same-ish like what else do you want lol

Link


Advantages
  • Wider arsenal
  • A bit better mobility from ropes
  • Arsenal cannot be lost due to physical damage
  • Bell likely counters Mario's jumping
  • Some surprisingly decent music

Equivalents

  • Similar speeds with the same leeway

  • Cultural relevance off sheer meme power and Youtube poops


Disadvantages

  • Much weaker, even with the Power Glove

  • Most of his arsenal gets voided by Starman


Mario


Advantages

  • Far stronger, easily one shots
  • Starman makes him immune to almost all of Link's tools

Equivalents

  • Similar speeds with the same leeway

  • Cultural relevance off sheer meme power and Youtube poops


Disadvantages

  • Less versatile equipment
  • Not as good mobility
  • No answer to the Book of Koridai


Strongest "Wider and more varied arsenal" fan vs Weakest "I one shot lmao" enjoyer



Happy April Fools!


Sources

Link

  • Link: The Faces of Evil
  • Zelda: Wand of Gamelon
  • Zelda's Adventure

Mario

  • Hotel Mario (and the enclosed instruction books for all the above)

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